Vow Renewal 2.0: Creating a Meaningful Post-COVID Ceremony
Erika Greene Photography
Many of my clients are opting for an intimate elopement on their original wedding date and a larger gathering on their one year anniversary. Let’s call this larger gathering a “vow renewal 2.0” for the sake of this post, but you might be calling it any number of things. At this vow renewal 2.0, there is usually still going to be some type of ceremony, which gets me dreaming about what it could look like. For a ritual nerd like me, this is exciting new territory. The possibilities are endless. There is no playbook or sense of tradition that we need to be hemmed in by. There is freedom to take the parts of a traditional wedding ceremony that you love and add in fresh elements to make it your own.
If you find yourself in this scenario and you’re not sure where to start, I want to share some of my ideas in the hopes that it will inspire you to create a meaningful ceremony and celebration when COVID is a thing of the past and you can party with 200 of your favorite people again.
Lionlady Photography
Reflect: As you approach planning your vow renewal 2.0 ceremony, sit down with your spouse and talk through these reflection questions. This will help you reveal what you might want to express in your ceremony or as part of the larger celebration:
What have you learned about marriage in this first year?
How has your relationship changed since you got married?
What have been the highlights of your first year of marriage?
What did no one tell you about married life? (Good/bad/tricky/messy etc..)
What support do you need from your community as you continue your journey of marriage?
Wear whatever you want: This could be a chance to wear your wedding dress or suit again, you could modify your original outfits, or you could wear whatever the heck you want. Did you really want to wear a red dress on your wedding day? Why not now? There are no rules. You do you!
Circle up: One of the quickest ways to build community is to circle up. When we face each other, we are instantly more connected and vulnerable. Across cultures, circling is a critical way that people connect, solve problems, celebrate, and honor one another. Instead of a traditional aisle and altar setup, you could opt for a circle (or multiple concentric circles if it’s a big crowd). Rather than a presentation, the ceremony becomes a Celebrant-facilitated circle to swap stories, advice, and reflections as you continue your journey into your second year of marriage.
Share your love story: During the ceremony, tell a bit of backstory to bring everyone up to speed on how you met, what adventures and challenges you navigated before marriage, and a bit about the wedding day last year. Then you can shift to focus on what happened in the first year of marriage: the good, the challenging, the surprising, and the hilarious.
Exchange your vows (again!): Revisit your vows from the wedding. If they still ring as true as the day that you wrote them, you can repeat them in front of your friends and family. If something doesn’t quite resonate anymore, vows can be updated to reflect the growth and change that happens in every relationship. It can be powerful to acknowledge the changes, challenges, and continued commitments that you’re making one year later. If you need some support, I teach online vow writing workshops and they’re fun! Check out the 2022 class schedule here.
Continue a tradition: Do you want to repeat anything from your original wedding ceremony? Perhaps there is a tradition that you want to make a yearly habit of doing on your anniversary. This can be incorporated into your ceremony. For example, if you created a keepsake box filled with photos, letters, and a bottle of wine on your original wedding day, you could open it as part of the vow renewal ceremony and share a glass of the wine or read your letters aloud. You could then put new letters in the box and a new bottle of wine to open for next year’s anniversary.
Look back at photos: Have a slideshow of your wedding day photos or play your wedding film as guests arrive or as part of the reception.
Anna Caitlin Photography
These are just the beginning of my ideas of what is possible for vow renewal 2.0 ceremonies. There are no rules when it comes to your celebration next year. You could go with a more traditional ceremony structure and that would be totally awesome too! Do whatever makes you feel good and honors your love story, rather than what you think your guests are expecting. We are creating new rituals in this day and age, so we get to decide how we honor these milestones now.
If you’re interested in a vow renewal 2.0 consultation or if you’d like to hire me to create a customized ceremony in 2022, please reach out. I’d love to meet you!